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~spittle

Kevin McConnell
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About Me Member Deviously Deviant spittle19/Male/Unknown Recent Activity Deviant for 7 Years
Needs Premium Membership Statistics 6 Deviations
802 Comments
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Steel PerformanceWe pass through the door to the Rank Room, a not-so-quaint little tavern, making only the slightest sound.  We do not raise our hands to someone we know at a table or seated at the bar.  We have no one to meet here and we wouldn't see anyone we recognized even if we did take the time to look, which we don't.  It isn't often someone such as us walks into a place like this, is it?  We do not wait to be seated, simply make our way across the room to the most out of the way table in the bar.  It is placed in a corner, almost seeming to be confined from the others.  We pull the chair back soundlessly with one hand, se Steel Performance
by ~spittle
Green CadaverGreen Cadaver  Humbert blinked, and there it was again.  The image of his house boarded up, himself standing on the street with ragged clothes and no place to go.  Out of the corner of his right eye he could see Jimmy the Chainsaw approaching with what looked like a sledge hammer in his hands.  How much did he owe that particular loan shark again?  He found it hard to even remember any more, considering how many different people and organizations he was in debt to.  ". . . Or what?" said a voice from some far off planet.  Humbert pulled himself out of his semi-comatose state of misery.  "Huh?" he grunte Green Cadaver
by ~spittle
Hellbound HotelFrank tried not to discriminate against beautiful women, but when this particular one got into his cab, there was no doubt in his mind that she was trouble.  But, go figure, he'd always had difficulty saying 'no' to women, especially when they were as attractive as this.  But along with the beauty, there was a gaunt kind of tiredness that Frank didn't like one bit, as if this woman had been up for three consecutive nights without sleep or food, and minimal drink.  He did consider, just for a second, telling her that he was about to quit anyway, seeing as how it was getting so late, but she opened the door so quickly and was in Hellbound Hotel
by ~spittle
The Boy-Im-Hungry BluesThe Boy-I'm-Hungry Blues:   
Fruit and vegies, I never touch.  You might think my diet is strict,  but this is not a diet I picked.  The food I eat, I'd like to boil it.  But I can't, dear friends, 'cause I'm a toilet.   
Poop is my all-purpose lunch,  I'll eat a little, I'll eat a bunch.  And when it comes to cultured wine,  I only drink white, that'll be fine.  But if a person is in just the right mood,  I'll finally get a small taste of food.  Sure, it's lumpy and partly digested.  But it's so good, it cannot be bested.  Vomit, barf and puke, oh my!  A tec The Boy-Im-Hungry Blues
by ~spittle
Browse Gallery

Autoeulogy

Wed Feb 12, 2003, 9:58 AM
To whom it may concern,
I'm dead. It's my fault really. I was listening to music while simultaneously taking a bath, and this massive safe fell on my head. And by it being my fault, what I really mean is, what the heck? I thought those kind of things only ever happened in cartoons, but oh well, live and learn. Or die and learn as the case may be.
The good news, for me at least, is that I was accepted into Heaven. But that's not really where I want to be anyways. Don't get me wrong, it's great and all, but I'm trying to get a transfer over to Valhalla. To do that, however, I must fall in battle valiantly as a true warrior would. Pffft, whatever.
So between trying to prove my valor to the Aesir, trying to get the most out of Heaven while I still can, and pulling a part time job haunting a small cabin in the woods on weekends for a little extra pocket money, I really don't have as much time as I once did.
As a result, I won't be on Deviantart very often and won't be commenting as religiously as I once did. Please don't hate me. I also set my status to, "Away," which I think makes sense since I'm, you know, dead and all. In fact, I'm not really supposed to being going to this website at all, seeing as how I don't have a true physical presence or anything.
Just to do this autoeulogy, I had to possess my cat. And believe me, working with two tiny paws and back legs that threaten to buckle at any instant isn't easy.
Sorry if this is going on really long. But hey, I'm dead, cut me some slack here. Did I mention I'm dead? I hope to see you all on the other side once you've met your grisly deaths here, one after the other.
~Boo!
Er, sorry, I mean:
~Spittle
5 Comments | Previous Journal Entries

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Canada
  • Favourite poet or writer: Stephen King
  • Operating System: Windows ME
  • MP3 player of choice: Winamp
  • Shell of choice: Tortoise
  • Wallpaper of choice: Smurf
  • Skin of choice: My own, thank you very much!
  • Favourite game: Russian Rock-Paper-Scissors
  • Favourite gaming platform: Table
  • Favourite cartoon character: Tick, the

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Comments


:iconbluvirgo:
~bluvirgo Oct 2, 2009, 7:10:17 PM
OMG your still on Deviant art. WOW. Its good to see some old familiar faces. Thanks for stopping by. WOW, it's been a long time.....I still remember your stories, one of them, "Pickled Punk"....
I haven't been on for ages, and since I wasn't on, I took down all my writing.....now I don't know where I put it, lol....

--
We all meet again.



:iconpetsrus:
:iconpiqument:
~piqument Mar 21, 2005, 2:07:24 AM
Your stories were always entertaining! Drop me a line if you ever start to publish--I'd like to read them. :)
:iconbruisedapple:
~bruisedapple Nov 30, 2003, 7:29:45 PM
God I miss you. Not that you're God. Though you might be. Cause I feel like things have taken a turn for the worse now that you're away from my life. Where are you oh all knowing all commenting hilariously guy?

--
~As I said before, I never repeat myself

That's right. You heard me.
:iconpiqument:
~piqument Aug 16, 2003, 9:59:53 PM
*Snarfsnarfsnarfsnarf*
:iconpiqument:
~piqument Aug 3, 2003, 10:54:04 PM
Poor spittle! Drop me a line from the netherworld and let me know if you ever got published!
:iconmazuko:
~mazuko May 28, 2003, 7:48:13 PM
!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Where oh where has Spittle gone? Take care buddy, sorry that I disappeared for a few months, I come back and you have left :( (Sad)

Hope all is well!

--
Your Princess is in another castle!
-Toadstool

What's the best way to say thank you to a comment? Return the favor.
:iconbluvirgo:
~bluvirgo May 6, 2003, 10:45:26 AM
Thankyou for your comments, Spittle. It's nice to know you are still around....(and still writing, I hope) Good to hear from ya. Hug

On Stephen King, I'm reading his book "On Writing," and it's really interesting how he got his ideas, and what he thinks about the process of writing. If you haven't read it yet, I encourage you to get it.

--
We all meet again.



:iconpetsrus:
:iconpiqument:
~piqument May 1, 2003, 10:46:21 AM
The inability to catch a cold or get the flu is something I'd dearly love to do.

However I'm trapped and doomed to do with colds and flu for many years.

Although if the undead did get the flu, wouldn't it have that extra element of undead creepiness of "cold from the grave?"
:iconpiqument:
~piqument Apr 28, 2003, 7:49:54 AM
I am ever glad for the visits from the netherworld. :) (Smile) How goes the unlife?
:iconpiqument:
~piqument Apr 11, 2003, 3:29:19 AM
Yep--she actually draws herself into the critter (it's some sort of avater) usually so I've tried to keep some of that into the piece. And I hadn't thought of having the rat blasting our of the sewer--maybe have some muck flying over the place? :) (Smile) That sounds pretty cool.
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